By now most of the companies so inclined to engage in some April fools day pranks, have mislead those who tended to glaze over the headlines eager for a quick but humorous (on them at least) scoop.
You have to admit if you aren’t on the ball on April fools day, you can get caught by these official looking press releases. Many a blogger has been duped into erroneously reporting them as fact much to their embarrassment.
Since so much time has been spent creating these elaborate hoaxes, it is fitting that we present you with the best we have seen so far, and allow you to tell us who was the most creative for 2008.
BMW’s Canine Repellent Alloy Protection Systems (C.R.A.P.S.):
BMW has announced the first details of the new Canine Repellent Alloy Protection system. Designed to stop dogs fouling against the sparkling alloys of new BMW cars, the innovative Canine Repellent Alloy Protection system (C.R.A.P.) is the latest offering in the BMW EfficientDynamics programme.
Using the EfficientDynamics Brake Energy Regeneration system, energy that would normally have been lost during engine over-run and during braking is harnessed as Rim Impulse Power (R.I.P.) and stored for future use. Whenever a dog tries to relieve itself on the wheel of a suitably-equipped BMW, a small and relatively painless electric shock is immediately administered to the animal, thus deterring it from future fouling.
Dr Hans Zoff, Head of Automotive Security from BMW AG, said; "Research shows that most BMW customers like to keep their cars clean and dog fouling is a constant irritant. Not only does the Canine Repellent Alloy Protection system support this aim, but it does so using energy created through the EfficientDynamics programme. Beauty through engineering perfection – our philosophy in a wheel nut."
Kia’s Kee Wii:
Kia announces new KEE_wii concept with revolutionary wireless driving system
* Kia unveils electronic high-tech driving system
* Steering wheel replaced by games console-style handset
* Set to revolutionise driving for the future
* Kia demands driving entitlement for children as young as eight
Kia Motors has announced a unique development of its Peter Schreyer-designed sports coupe concept – the KEE_wii.
First seen at the Frankfurt Motor Show in September 2007, the KEE was a clear indication of the design direction of Kia product. However, the latest upgrade to KEE will make sure it is one step ahead of the competition with a new, dynamic and more involving drive system that removes the need for a steering wheel and pedals.
Franz Josef-Hicks, head of the Advanced Propulsion Research Institute and Laboratory at Kia Motors New Zealand, explained; 'We have taken inspiration from current computer gaming technology to create a completely new steering and pedal system called Dynamic On-Road Kinetics. The traditional driving controls are replaced by a small 'controller' which fits comfortably into two hands. Making steering motions with the small controller will turn the car in whichever direction the driver likes whilst accelerator and brakes are button operated. It is a very simple and intuitive system.' added Mr Josef-Hicks.
Kia believes there is an added advantage – passengers can take the controls and enjoy the dynamic drive of the KEE_wii from any seat in the car. "This is ultimate flexibility," enthused Mr Josef-Hicks. "If you are travelling in left or right-hand drive countries you will be able to control the vehicle from the correct seat and if a passenger knows a road particularly well they can take control and make the journey more efficient and faster. We have patented this newly developed wireless system known as Full Orthopaedic Operating Logic. Okay, so visibility is a minor issue for those in the back seats, but we don't think this will be a problem as a lot of people don't really look where they are going when they drive – and we have built in a fail-safe security system called Independent Driver Input Operating Technique that utilises radar to avoid accidents."
The KEE_wii dynamic control system will be available on new Kia cars a year from today and will then be optional on forthcoming generations of models as they are updated or replaced.
Alongside unveiling the updated KEE_wii, Kia also announced it plans to lobby governments to change driving test regulations. Mr Josef-Hicks added 'Every parent is embarrassed at the sharp and speedy computer driving skills of their children – it seems obvious to us that if children as young as eight can drift, rally and race their way to multiple world championships on a games console, then this new driving system will be simple enough for anyone to use. Even from the back seat. With this new KEE_wii driving system we want governments to consider changing real word driving tests for computer simulations'.
The KEE_wii provides clear indication; Kia Motors does indeed have 'The Power to Surprise'
RENNTECH’s Twin-Engined Go-Eco SMART 7.22
RENNTECH's 722 tuning package for the Mercedes SLR McLaren supercar has been generating a lot of attention recently, as has RENNTECH's appointment as the American agent for the Mercedes-Benz McLaren 722GT club racer and SLR.Club Trophy USA series.
Building on these runaway successes, RENNTECH has released details of an exciting new project called the 7.22. Based on the new Smart ForTwo, the 7.22 is powered by two (2) 1000cc, 3 cyl. Smart engines, each mated to its own 5-speed, automated transmission.
"One engine drives the front wheels, the other drives the rears," explains Hartmut Feyhl, RENNTECH's president and ex-technical director of AMG North America. "One of my employees, Jo Borras, previously worked with Mosler to build their dual-engined Cadillac TwinStar, and made the magazine rounds a few years later with his own twin-engined Hyundai Tiburon. It seemed like a good idea to try on the Smart, so we went with it."
Each of the Smart's drive units exists in its own subframe, complete with its own ECU and electronics, making the process fairly straightforward. Feyhl explained that once the steering mechanism was integrated into the engine's cradle, the resulting subframe mounted directly to the existing safety cell, using the same mounting points as the original. Feyhl admits "the hardest part was getting the 7.22's new plastic bodywork 'right'."
Interestingly, since each engine and transmission assembly is completely isolated, there is no need to synchronize the two. Feyhl informed us that "each engine and ECU finds its job suddenly easier, and simply acts as if it were going downhill or carrying a lighter load."
Never ones to leave well enough alone, however, the crew at RENNTECH set to work on their pint-sized terror ... but even putting out a string of 750 hp SLR McLarens and 900 lb-ft bi-turbo AMG cars didn't prepare them for what happeed next.
The boys at RENNTECH were surprised ("shocked" might be a better word) by what happened when the software engineers cracked the Smart's Bosch electronics and removed the engine's rev limiters. "It revved like a liter-bike," says Feyhl, "and none of us expected anything quite like that!"
Using the Triumph Speed Triple motorcycle's torque curve as a guide, RENNTECH's software engineers began massaging the Smart's fuel maps until they achieved a totally unbelievable result: 91 raucous, twitchy horsepower at a stratospheric 11,800 rpm.
That's right, kiddies. Ninety-one peak horsepower at eleven-thousand, eight-hundred rpm from each of the two Smart 3 cylinders ... and the new, RENNTECH-imposed rpm limit? An absolutely SCREAMING 13,200 rpm.
The end result is a twin-engined, 182 hp AWD street machine that zips from zero to sixty in an astonishing (and terrifying!) 5.1 seconds, on its way to a top speed of 138 mph.
Getting all of the RENNTECH Smart 7.22's newfound power to the ground are a set of specially-designed 17" RENNTECH forged Monolite wheels wrapped in Michelin Pilot sport tires. Hard, fade-free stops are made possible by RENNTECH's 14" 2-piece rotors and Smart-specific 4 piston calipers, while RENNTECH's new "Go-eco" exhaust system makes use of futuristic technology to ensure that the 7.22's only emissions are a blend of pure oxygen and a potpourri of fresh lilacs and honeyuckle.
The RENNTECH Smart 7.22 is available today for $39,990. Contact RENNTECH for more (please check today's date before ordering).
Toyota’s Revival of Oldsmobile:
Nearly four years to the day that the final Oldsmobile rolled off the assembly line in Lansing, Michigan, comes word that Oldsmobile is back. More startling than the announcement itself is its origin -- not from Lansing, not from Detroit, not from Michigan, not even from anywhere in North America.
A statement from Tokyo, of all places, reports that Toyota has secured rights to the Oldsmobile name. Asked for comment, GM is remaining extremely tight-lipped on the issue at the moment while presumably trying to sort out internally what oversight allowed this to happen -- and who to can for it.
A Most Egregious Oversight
Toyota officials have stated that GM's copyright on the Oldsmobile brand name expired midway through 2006. In the midst of the constant corporate shuffling underway in the domestic automotive juggernaut, somehow responsibility for renewal slipped through the cracks and the name floated around untethered for almost a year before someone at Toyota noticed. The unsubstantiated -- at this point -- story is that the alert came from the astute nephew of a still-confidential executive, who works as a clerk in the U.S. Copyright Office.
The Toyota exec saw an opportunity, and the rights to the name were scooped up by Toyota for a nominal re-filing fee -- just $5000. As Toyota pushes upmarket -- the Avalon and Highlander can both reach above $40,000, while a loaded Sequoia can eclipse $60,000 -- the question has been raised repeatedly just how much the American public is willing to pay for a vehicle with the same badge as a $12,000 Yaris. Toyota took note of the rapid failure of the Volkswagen Phaeton and does not wish to find itself in the same situation.
According to Bob Carter, general manager of Toyota USA, Oldsmobile will fill the gap between Toyota and the company's luxury flagship brand, Lexus. "Oldsmobile is an established and respected luxury nameplate." Carter says, "We fully realize this acquisition is unconventional, but the opportunity to immediately acquire over 100 years' worth of brand recognition couldn't be missed.
"It's a shame," Carter said, "that a company with the proud history of Oldsmobile ever left the market, and we feel that Toyota can establish the same sort of sufficiency with the Oldsmobile brand as we have with Lexus and Scion."
A New Twist On the Same Oldsmobile Ideal
Citing Oldsmobile's greatest successes as a slightly upmarket and sportier alternative to its Chevrolet and Pontiac cousins, Carter said that the name will be applied to today's American performance-oriented luxury vehicles -- SUVs. Asked if the iForce V-8 in the Sequoia will be renamed Rocket for Oldsmobile applications, Carter scoffed. "Toyota is a company that looks forward, not back. The past can inspire us, but we can never relive it. We will not mire ourselves in bygone days."
And so Toyota is sticking with names from recent Oldsmobile history, so as not to alienate the young, upwardly mobile customers it is targeting. Bravada and Intrigue are names that will be familiar to the target demographic, affixed as they will be to the RAV4 and 4Runner SUVs, respectively.
"Bravada was the last big hit for Oldsmobile under its past ownership, and we believe it can be the first for the brand under our tutelage," Carter said. "And Intrigue was a product that was just gaining its footing when the brand was canceled. That name still has momentum, and we can capitalize on that."
No 442, but How About an 88?
The farthest reach into Oldsmobile history will be for the flagship vehicle, to be based not on the Toyota and Lexus flagship Land Cruiser/LX570, but the gargantuan Toyota Sequoia SUV. As Carter explains, "Land Cruiser is an established luxury nameplate that exists almost entirely outside of what is otherwise Toyota. It has its own customer base, which is extremely loyal, and there is simply not room for an Oldsmobile between the Land Cruiser and LX570."
The Sequoia, on the other hand, currently has no luxury counterpart. That will change when Oldsmobile launches its Super 88, the company's most blatant indulgence in the past. But there is some cleverness behind the name, as Carter points out it also pays homage to the fabled Oldsmobile 442 muscle car, in which the number stood for four-barrel carburetor, four-speed manual transmission, and dual exhaust.
Super 88, according to Carter, will now refer to eight cylinders in the engine and eight gears in the transmission, as the eight-speed automatic from the Lexus LS-series luxury sedan will be adapted for use in this truck. The massively powerful Sequoia is already fast enough to humiliate its new Oldsmobile namesake -- we recorded 0?60 mph in just 6.6 seconds and a quarter-mile of 15.2 seconds and 92 mph with the six-speed automatic -- so Carter says the flexibility of the eight-speed will be exploited to endow the range-topper with the fuel economy of a much smaller vehicle.
Carter wouldn't say if Oldsmobile would get a version of the Tundra pickup with which the Sequoia shares its underpinnings, but did hint that Toyota has paid close attention to the Lincoln Mark LT, which is a Ford F-150 wearing Lincoln-look front sheet metal and a Navigator-style interior.
Old-School Rocket for the New Oldsmobile
Toyota's final nod to Oldsmobile's past will be in the selection of its logo. For decades, Oldsmobile used a succession of rocket-themed emblems, and Toyota chose to resurrect that from Oldsmobile's most profitable time -- the red rocket of the 1980s. "Oldsmobile's rocket reached its zenith in the eighties," Carter says, "selling over 1 million units and becoming the third-best-selling brand in all of the U.S. That's the Oldsmobile we are proud of, and that's the Oldsmobile we wish to recreate."
This development could not come at a more ironic time, as General Motors desperately battles Toyota to retain its North American sales crown. Like the Boston Red Sox selling Babe Ruth to the New York Yankees in 1920 brought about decades of frustration for Ruth's former team, Toyota is poised to turn GM's once-great weapon against its former owner. With an impressive engineering commitment and a delicate balance of reverence for the past and ambition for the future, we may be witnessing another Curse of the Bambino.