Let's begin with a verity, an undeniable truth that is evident from 3 feet away or from the cold distance of outer space: The new 1-series BMW is ugly. Seriously ugly. Ugly with X-wings locked in attack formation. I know an ugly car when one blows past me at 100 mph.
Ugly cars are unusual, for very good reasons. Auto companies are vast organizations, with billions of dollars invested, and tens of thousands of employees, some of whom can actually pick out their own ties. Also, in an age of computer-aided design, virtual modeling and rapid prototyping, ugly usually can be rooted out and burned at the stake before the first tooling is purchased. Usually.
The 1-series compact coupe (in 135i and 128i trim) is actually the latest in a fairly robust line of ugly cars from the Werks. The coupe model follows three- and five-door versions that have been hugely successful in Europe and the rest of the world since 2004. The styling is a vestige of what BMW then called its "flame surfacing" design vocabulary -- although it has less the incandescence of fire than the weary drape of wet canvas. Or old skin. That's it. The1-series looks like it needs a jowl lift to repair its prolapsed cheeks. With the downward bowed accent lines running along its flanks, this car looks like it has suffered a high-speed hernia. Meanwhile, I search the stars in vain for a reason the designers gave this car a notch-back design -- so that there is a discernible trunk in the back -- when it so plainly aches for a fastback.
Read Article