In yet another chapter of Florida’s unending saga, a 29-year-old man led deputies on a 130 mph chase in a stolen BMW before flipping the car and nearly dying. When asked how he got into the locked, keyless vehicle with no broken windows, his explanation was pure Sunshine State gold: “I don’t know… I teleported.”

Deputies pressed further. His story evolved faster than a Marvel comic. First, the X-Men personally instructed him to take the car. Minutes later, it was altruistic—he’d actually teleported inside to save the deputy from an impending alien invasion.

Miraculously walking away from the totaled BMW, he continued muttering about extraterrestrials while being loaded into an ambulance. Charges include grand theft auto, fleeing, and reminding the world why “Florida Man” remains undefeated. Somewhere, Stan Lee is smiling. 

“I DON’T KNOW… I TELEPORTED.”
“THE X-MEN TOLD ME TO DO IT.”
“YOU SAVED ME FROM THE ALIENS!”

FLORIDA MAN SAYS HE "TELEPORTED" INTO A STOLEN BMW BEFORE CRASHING IT AT 130 MPH

Don't do bath salts kids pic.twitter.com/0UIEpWxeqr

— SynCronus (@syncronus) December 10, 2025