Oh, folks, buckle up—our ace AutoSpies agent 00K was out prowling the streets today, camera ready, hunting for the next big automotive scoop. You know the drill: shadows, stealth, zero mercy for bad taste.

Kia’s been teasing us for years with whispers of a “real” pickup truck. Bold move for a brand better known for soulful crossovers and quirky EVs. They promised something purposeful, innovative, a fresh take on the mid-size segment. No more copying the usual suspects—they’d carve their own path with “tiger-nose” flair and modern edge.

And then agent 00K spied it: the Kia Tasman pickup, lurking in plain sight like it hoped nobody would notice. Spoiler: we noticed. This thing looks like a Cybertruck survivor got into a bar fight with a platypus and an abandoned Aztek concept, then lost. Headlights squished low and wide apart, staring at the ground like it’s ashamed. That grille? “Tiger face” ambition meets “constipated rodent” execution. Wheel-arch flares so oversized and mustache-y, they look like clip-on brows from a discount costume shop. The side profile? Bloated angles clashing in ways that hurt the soul—somehow puffy and skinny all at once.

Kia swore off “oversized styling.” Congrats: you achieved aggressively, unapologetically hideous. Tasman? Try Tas-mangled. This truck makes rivals look like supermodels. Agent 00K barely survived the visual assault—someone burn those sketches before it’s too late. 

It looks like a Chinese attempt to clone the Grenadier style with disastrous results.

Discuss.