Mercedes just dropped the new C-Class interior and it’s giving “I let my iPad have a baby with a Las Vegas casino.” Behold: one single, unbroken, edge-to-edge dashboard screen that stretches from A-pillar to A-pillar like Mercedes is personally offended by the concept of “having a normal dash.” It’s so wide you could watch two football games and still have room for your fantasy-league standings. Blue ambient lighting everywhere, glowing vents, glowing cupholders, glowing everything. The whole cockpit looks like it was designed by a 22-year-old YouTuber who just discovered RGB and never recovered.

And can we talk about the obvious marketing meeting that birthed this? Some suit in Stuttgart apparently decided, “Men love big TVs, right? Let’s give them the entire Best Buy wall!” Yes, the screen is gorgeous. Yes, it displays a lovely purple mountain sunset at 15:04 like we’re all on a permanent screensaver vacation. But bro, I’m trying to merge onto the freeway, not shop for 85-inch OLEDs. The steering wheel still has a Mercedes star on it, but at this point it feels decorative—like the last surviving analog thing in a sea of pixels.
The seats? Nice suede, red stitching, very “cyber-GT3.” The center console looks expensive enough to finance on its own. But the vibe is less “driver’s car” and more “I paid extra so the car can flex on my passengers while I pretend I’m in a spaceship.” 

Mercedes clearly thinks the modern man wants to feel like he’s sitting inside a 98-inch television at Best Buy on a Saturday afternoon. Mission accomplished. Just don’t ask me where the physical buttons went.

So, Spies… RATE this interior. 1–10. Be brutal. Does the mega-screen make you want to buy one, or does it make you want to buy a used E39 and never speak of this again?

Drop your score below.