In the relentless march of woke absurdity, a University of Miami law professor has set her sights on one of America's most iconic brands: Jeep. J. Janewa Osei-Tutu argues that the company should be forced to rename its wildly popular Grand Cherokee SUV to avoid "profiting from cultural appropriation." Her solution? Overhaul federal intellectual property laws to create a new right to "protect cultural personality," treating tribal names like copyrighted trademarks that corporations can't touch without permission. 

This is peak academic nonsense. Jeep didn't steal the Cherokee name from some sacred vault. The model has been rolling off assembly lines since the 1970s, symbolizing rugged American adventure, freedom, and off-road capability. Millions of drivers—Native American and otherwise—have embraced these vehicles without a single complaint from the actual Cherokee Nation until the 2020 cultural panic. Even then, Jeep engaged in dialogue. But for Osei-Tutu, that's not enough. She wants the force of law to police language, history, and commerce in the name of fragile "collective identities."

Her paper reveals the true agenda: weaponizing "cultural appropriation" into a legal cudgel. Under her vision, brands, foods, music, fashion, and words from any group—especially from the "global south" or indigenous communities—could trigger endless lawsuits. Imagine the chaos. Italian-Americans couldn't celebrate pizza in public? Irish pubs banned for cultural theft? This isn't protection; it's cultural segregation dressed up as justice. America thrives as a melting pot precisely because cultures blend, borrow, and build upon one another. That's not appropriation—it's innovation and assimilation. 

Conservative legal scholar Jonathan Turley nailed it: this proposal would "blow apart" copyright laws and codify the intolerance rampant in higher education. It invites a flood of litigation that punishes success and chills free expression. Jeep's Grand Cherokee represents 43% of the brand's U.S. sales. Forcing a rename wouldn't heal historical wounds; it would erase a symbol of American engineering prowess while handing activist lawyers a blank check.

The Cherokee Nation's own concerns deserve respectful dialogue, but elevating them to federal veto power over trademarks sets a dangerous precedent. Tribes aren't powerless relics—they're sovereign nations with thriving cultures. Honoring them means engaging their governments, economies, and histories, not airbrushing vehicle badges to soothe academic guilt.

Jeep's response should be simple and firm: No. The Grand Cherokee stays. American enterprise doesn't bow to every campus grievance. Tell Professor Osei-Tutu that real progress comes from building, not renaming. In a nation of immigrants and pioneers, cultural exchange isn't theft—it's our greatest strength. Keep driving, America. The trailblazers named these machines for a reason.

What would YOU say to her?