In the annals of California crime, few scenes rival the classic Godfather moment: "Leave the gun, take the cannolis." Clemenza's deadpan wisdom has inspired generations of wise guys to prioritize dessert over deadly evidence. But in sunny Orange County, a crew of modern-day "thugs" decided to remix the line with all the grace of a demolition derby.
Picture this: Half a dozen masked bandits in hoodies and ski masks roll up to Classic Jewelers in Anaheim (not Fullerton as some rumors flew—close enough for the getaway chaos). Instead of quietly casing the joint, they floor it in a stolen black Nissan Rogue straight through the front door. Boom—glass shatters, alarms scream, and the smash-and-grab is on. They loot roughly $750,000 to $1 million in gold, diamonds, and jewels, plus the owner's gun for good measure. Because nothing says "subtle" like adding armed robbery to your burglary bingo card.
Then comes the getaway pivot. They ditch the Nissan—now a crumpled battering ram—at the scene and peel out in two Dodge Chargers. Muscle cars! V8 glory! Surely these horsepower beasts will outrun the cops like in the movies.
Narrator voice: They did not.
Just a few miles away in Fullerton, both Chargers meet their maker in spectacular fashion. One slams into a multi-vehicle pileup at Orangethorpe and Lemon, scattering diamonds across the asphalt like confetti at a very expensive parade. The four occupants bail but get nabbed. The second Charger crashes near Euclid and Malvern—another multi-car mess. Three of four suspects are collared, with the fourth presumably still looking for his dignity.
About half a dozen innocent drivers end up hurt, injuries minor to moderate. Jewelry trays glint in the wreckage as cops scoop up bling like it's Easter egg hunting gone wrong.
So, to update the immortal line for today's aspiring felons:
"Paulie, leave the Nissan, take the Chargers!" And Paulie, staring at the smoking heap of twisted metal and loose gems, probably mutters: "Next time, maybe just take an Uber."