This Cadillac Vistiq window treatment is really cool and beautiful. Said no one ever.
This so-called “design choice” with its etched Mondrian pattern on the third-row quarter window is trying way too hard to be artsy, but it lands squarely in the geezer-pleasing zone. It’s like Cadillac thought, “Let’s slap some abstract art on the glass so Harold and Mildred at the retirement village will feel hip while they’re cruising to the early bird special.” The “visual interest” they’re boasting about? It’s just a fancy squiggle that screams, “I’m different!” to anyone old enough to remember when Cadillac was a status symbol. And tying it to “motorsport heritage”? That’s a stretch so big it needs its own yoga class. The pattern’s in the taillights too? Wow, cohesive design language for the bingo hall crowd.
Functionally, it’s even more of a snooze. Tinted glass for privacy and heat reduction? My grandpa’s Buick had that in ’92, and it didn’t need a press release to pat itself on the back. The “solar control” glass reducing AC workload? Basic physics, not a revolution. And the “unique ambiance” from light filtering through the etched pattern? Sounds like a dim kaleidoscope for third-row passengers who forgot their cataracts appointment. UV protection for the interior? Standard in every SUV since Y2K. The windshield wiper deicer is the only semi-decent feature, but a heated grid isn’t exactly Elon-level innovation. This whole setup feels like Cadillac’s pandering to folks who still use flip phones and think “modern” means a color TV. It’s a tired design choice dressed up as cutting-edge, impressing nobody but geezers who’d rather be polishing their vintage Caddies anyway.
Do they really thing cheap tricks like this will lead them to victory over Tesla?
Discuss....