I guess I should be straight with you from the beginning. I used to work for Rolls-Royce. When I was starting off in comedy I worked during the day at a Rolls dealership.
Once I had to deliver a Corniche convertible. I had to collect $30,000 in a paper bag from the guy buying it. But on the way back I stopped at a comedy club in Times Square.
My set went down well and I left for home pleased with myself. But two hours out, somewhere into Connecticut, I remembered I had left the paper bag with the $30,000 in it on the piano. The sense of horror was unimaginable.
That trip back to New York was one of the longest two hours of my life. I got to the club at two or three in the morning and a girl was singing on stage. I jumped up, saw the bag was still on the piano, grabbed it and apologised, saying I had forgotten my lunch. If the bag hadn’t been there I’d have only just got out of jail now.
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