Buckle up, folks, because the electric vehicle (EV) lineup for 2026 and 2027 is rolling in like a fleet of golf carts at a funeral. If you thought the future of driving was going to be a thrilling, sci-fi joyride, think again—these upcoming EVs are about as exciting as a PowerPoint presentation on tax law. Let’s take a spin through this lackluster showroom and see why the next couple of years might leave EV fans dozing off at the wheel.
First up, we’ve got the Honda-Sony Afeela 1, a sedan so tech-obsessed it’s basically a PlayStation with wheels. With 40 sensors and a dashboard that looks like a Times Square billboard, it’s less “car” and more “overpriced arcade.” Starting at $102,900 for the Signature trim in 2026, it’s the kind of vehicle that screams, “I spent my life savings to let a computer drive me to the grocery store.” Yawn.
Then there’s the Alfa Romeo Giulia EV, which promises up to 1,000 horsepower but is built on the STLA Large platform—because nothing says “Italian passion” like sharing parts with a Dodge Charger. It’s like putting a Ferrari badge on a minivan and calling it a day. And don’t get me started on the Bentley “luxury urban SUV.” A compact Bentley? That’s like a vegan butcher shop—pointless and confusing. It’s coming in 2026, but at 197 inches long, it’s about as “compact” as a cruise ship.
Rivian’s R2 and R3 are supposed to be affordable, but with starting prices around $40,000-$45,000, they’re just Tesla Model Y knockoffs with a side of “retro-futuristic” vibes that look like they were designed by someone who binged too many ’80s sci-fi flicks. And the Porsche 718 EV? Delayed to 2027 because the battery maker went bust. Great job, team—nothing says “future” like a supply chain oopsie.
Even the Chevy Bolt EUV’s comeback feels like GM saying, “We killed it, but here’s a slightly shinier version!” It’s like re-releasing a flop movie with better CGI. The Ford Project T3 truck? Delayed to 2027, probably because they’re still figuring out how to make it not look like every other Ford truck.
So, dear readers, are there any upcoming EVs that get your motor running, or are they all as thrilling as kissing your sister? Drop your thoughts below—because this lineup needs a serious jumpstart.