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A letter sent from BMW and Audi to Mercedes, regarding the SL 65 Black edition

BMWBlog submitted on 08/04/2008 Official AutoSpies Timestamp: 12:34 AM
from: www.bmwblog.com

[30] user comments | category: Misc News

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Tags: bmw, audi, mercedes, sl65

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A letter sent from BMW and Audi to Mercedes, regarding the SL 65 Black edition

This is has to be one of the greatest articles I have read in a while. Please take the time and read it, it is ABSOLUTELY worth it. After you read it, please leave a comment.

[Source: drivers-republic.com ]

Dear Mercedes

Ze time is coming for us to give notice of our unconditional surrender in ze war for total power domination in series production automobiles. With ze introduction of your new SL 65 Schwarz edition you have made so much power we can no longer be competing. It is over, you are winning. We cannot take any more.

This battle has been for many years running now. First you are making the 300 saloon with ze 6.3 litre V8 in 1966 and then ze 450SEL 6.9 in ze 1970s. Ze starter motors of these machines was more powerful then our most powerful saloon cars, but we did catch up with you in ze 1980s remember?

BMW is making the E28 M5 in 1985 and Audi is having ze 200 Quattro Turbo which was rubbish but did feature in Ze Living Daylights when 007 rescues that bloke with the appalling Russian accent. Then BMW is introducing ze E34 M5 in 1990 with over 300bhp and you are becoming so embarrassed that ze Munich poofters are going faster that you are running to Porsche and saying in a girlie voice “Please, please help us to make a fast saloon car with a V8 engine because we are becoming so used to making E-Class Taxis we have forgotten how to make such a car.” We laughed at your running dog tactics and how ze mightly Daimler had to consult ze maker of fast Volkswagens for help. And Porsche made for you ze 500E, which was rather brilliant, so we no longer laughed.

You then are giving ze W210 E36 in 1996 and we are laughing again at your silly little six cylinder engines, but as we are laughing, you bring ze E50 from nowhere and we are thinking you might be onto something a bit special. Before BMW can do anything with a new M5, Audi is having ze new S8 with 345bhp, but you then have ze E55 with 349bhp and a few months later BMW is launching ze new E39 M5 near a place called Rimsting (true) and it is having 400bhp and then Audi is replying with the RS6 and 450bhp and everything is moving very fast and before we know it we are declaring some kind of war on you for total domination in this power race.

But everytime we are making a stronger engine, you are coming back with something even faster and this you must be understanding is very hard for us. We are trying to keep ze super-strong engines for our special model cars only, but you have been buying AMG a few years back and spraying V8s around villy nilly. Then you go and supercharge ze V8 for 476bhp and ze TUV is having to force you to come clean about it really being over 500bhp. Very naughty.

From this BMW is having to make some special 500bhp V10 for the new M5, but by then you have twin-turbocharged ze V12 and during bench testing ze earth has been shifted on its axis. Now we are feeling like this battle we are losing but we keep trying and Audi has given you a big kick in ze goolies with the 570bhp RS6 which is 70bhp more than any of your pathetic Stuttgarter 6.3 litre V8s is making. But we always are knowing that you are not afraid to be turbocharging your V12s and we can never be doing this.

And now we see this SL 65 schwartz edition and it is bringing enough power to make the Fiat 599 looking like it has a wery small villy. And we are liking that you are also German and doing this to annoy Ferrari, but we must also now tell you that we are having enough of ze power race. This is ze day it ends; with your 670bhp car.

We are having no answer to this. Congratulatings.

Kind Regards

Board members of BMW und Audi.

P.S. Can we please be borrowing the SL 65 Schwartz for a few days?

[Source drivers-republic.com via bmwblog.com ] Read Article

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NItePhire - 8/4/2008 8:25:53 AM

+11 Boost

Wow can I please have my two minutes and thirty eight seconds of my life back. NOW..

reply to this comment

MaindrianPace - 8/4/2008 8:37:41 AM

+8 Boost

Vis zis clearly racially intolerant artikle you are vaysting all oour time, for zis you vil be shot.

reply to this comment

TurboSpyder - 8/4/2008 11:33:38 AMView My AgentSpace

-1 Boost

I'm German and wasn't the least bit offended by this rather silly article - but then I also liked to watch reruns of Hogan's Heroes. Anyway, newsflash for you, Germans do say "zis" a lot just like Japanese speaking English do pronounce l's like r's.

AutoUnion - 8/4/2008 8:46:20 AM

+8 Boost

Oh, I am sorry. I was under the impression that this was a motoring blog and not some virtual place for retards to gather and post Sh*T like this.

reply to this comment

Jaybrn - 8/4/2008 11:15:49 AM

+6 Boost

Nope, not worthwhile, profoundly unsophisticated, insulting really

DW1968 - 8/10/2008 6:53:40 PM

+1 Boost

You must be new here.

TurboSpyder - 8/4/2008 11:36:44 AMView My AgentSpace

+9 Boost

Gee, couldn't see that kind of delusional comment coming from you. <--- Sarcasm.

reply to this comment

TurboSpyder - 8/4/2008 1:43:45 PMView My AgentSpace

+10 Boost

Dude, the Lexus LS600h isn't even as quick (or green) as Audi's or Mercedes' *diesels*.

0–100 km/h

Audi: 6.2 s
BMW: 6.8 s
Lexus: 6.7 s <--- Second Slowest
Mercedes: 6.6 s

Test Mileage – Test CO2

Audi: 9.5 l – 252 g/km
BMW: 9.7 l – 256 g/km
Lexus: 12.1 l – 285 g/km <---- Poorest
Mercedes: 9.7 l – 255 g/km

http://www.autobild.de/artikel/hybrid-lexus-gegen-die-konkurrenz_435966.html

--

"This poor result, combined with the fact the Lexus costs so much, means the Audi A8 earns an easy victory here. Not only is it £20,000 cheaper, it’s also better designed from superior materials, just as fast and *around 10mpg more efficient*."

http://www.autoexpress.co.uk/carreviews/grouptests/211689/lexus_ls600h_vs_audi_a8.html

---

And you can't compare the Toyota-engineers-cobbled-it-together-in-their-spare-time IS-F to the M3.

reply to this comment

steve27t - 8/4/2008 2:34:46 PM

+6 Boost

I am still waiting for proof that MT is over 16 and actually drives a car.

reply to this comment

Htay7500 - 8/4/2008 6:45:10 PM

+3 Boost

MichealTaylors comments = EPIC FAIL.

reply to this comment

Agent63 - 8/4/2008 7:10:57 PMView My AgentSpace

+4 Boost

He drives a Toyota Camry so with that knowledge we can't take him seriously. He knows nothing about luxury cars and definitely knows nothing about Lexus. His baseless crap was funny but just annoying now.

MT for your information the interior of an Audi's fit and finish is world class. Mercedes fit and finish is up there now too these days with huge improvement. It's too bad you're too much of a troll to see that.

reply to this comment

vman1013 - 8/7/2008 4:47:08 PM

+1 Boost

The IS-F is not faster than the M3. What planet do you live on?

reply to this comment

sold2early - 8/4/2008 10:17:04 AM

+1 Boost

They should have waited until 4/1/09 to post this.

reply to this comment

bitschaser - 8/4/2008 10:23:47 AM

-1 Boost

I hope the author of this article has good liability insurance to cover the libel lawsuit, which I would fully support.

reply to this comment

AgentOrange - 8/4/2008 10:58:20 AMView My AgentSpace

+1 Boost

I can't read German...Can someone provide an English synopsis??

reply to this comment

fuzion - 8/4/2008 11:31:15 AM

-1 Boost

Sure, just take out the "word" "ze" from the start of each word and it's in english. I really doubt they write letters using ze.

ze that's ze f______g ze retarded

thanks for ruining my day so early. tard.

FitzLA - 8/4/2008 11:33:22 AM

+3 Boost

This is totally retarded.

reply to this comment

jat403 - 8/4/2008 12:13:41 PM

+2 Boost

right, i'm sure they don't sound anything like that. That was garbage.

reply to this comment

mini22 - 8/4/2008 12:21:52 PM

+3 Boost

What a "Stupid" article. How anyone can think it's amusing is beyond me.

reply to this comment

w209w114 - 8/4/2008 1:00:39 PMView My AgentSpace

+3 Boost

COOOORNY!!!

reply to this comment

204E60 - 8/4/2008 1:05:32 PM

+3 Boost

Who posts this crap?

reply to this comment

sector - 8/4/2008 1:27:19 PM

-4 Boost

German language is so harsh :(

reply to this comment

TurboSpyder - 8/4/2008 1:52:44 PMView My AgentSpace

+4 Boost

That's just a myth. If the German language were music, it would be Beethoven or Bach or Brahms or Mozart etc.

steve27t - 8/4/2008 2:32:58 PM

0 Boost

Take any high powered Merc and put it up against a similar BMW or Audi on any kind of track (ie a road with bends and curves) and the Merc will be left wanting. See any Top Gear, 5th Gear or CAR comparison. P.S. The VW Veyron has a 1000 hp !!

reply to this comment

JudasLease - 8/7/2008 8:13:13 AM

+1 Boost

WTF is this

reply to this comment

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