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I am no fan of the Audi Q7. It is bread-bin ugly and despite its enormous size it’s so small inside that you are faced with a simple choice. Leave the dogs at home. Or the kids. Unlike a Volvo XC90, it cannot do both. However, to worry about tedious practical issues in this particular model is like worrying about what sort of golf clubs Alan Shepard used when teeing off on the moon.

That’s because this is the first road car ever to be fitted with a V12 diesel. It produces 493 horsepowers — more than any other diesel — and 738 torques. That’s about 160 more than you get from a McLaren SLR: 738 torques is enough to restart a dead planet.

It is a hysterical car, this. Mad. Bonkers. Stupid. It sits on the road network like a Class-1 powerboat would sit at the Henley regatta. Of course, it is also utterly pointless.

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Clarkson At It Again With Audi Q7 Diesel Review: It’s crap. But it’s brilliant too.

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