Spies, How Many Fantasy Garages Did You Build This Week?
Spies, we’re not judging. Okay, we are—but only because we’re worse. Grab your coffee (or the energy drink you chugged to stay up for that BaT auction close). Time for a gut check. How many hours this week did you spend living inside your head, test-driving dream cars you’ll never buy?
We’re talking full-blown scenario theater. You’re not just browsing—you’re directing a Hollywood blockbuster starring you, a perfect car, and a soundtrack of V8s or turbo whooshes. And the classifieds? Your personal Netflix. Dealer row? Your local IMAX.
Example Scenario #1: The Porsche 911 Fantasy
You’re on Rennlist at 1:17 a.m. A 2017 991.2 Carrera GTS, 18K miles, manual, chalk gray, full carbon buckets, $129K. You click. You zoom on the deviated stitching.
You imagine:
* Pulling into Cars & Coffee.
* The valet’s face when you say “I’ll park it myself.”
* Your spouse finally understanding why you “needed” the lift kit on the garage.?You even rehearse the negotiation: “I’ll do $122K cash, today, if you throw in the indoor cover.”?Reality check: You’re in pajama pants. Your current car has 87K miles and a cracked fog light. But for 11 minutes, you owned it.
Scenario #2: The Online Auction Spiral
Bring a Trailer. You’re “just watching.” Then you’re calculating: “If I sell the boat… skip the kids’ braces…” You’ve bid in your head 47 times. You’ve written the winner’s comment: “Dream realized. Thanks BaT!”
You lose. You’re crushed. You refresh “sold” listings like a masochist.
Scenario #3: Dealership Row Recon
Saturday, 10 a.m. You “need gas.” Suddenly you’re doing 15 mph past five dealerships. You spot a white GR Supra with red interior. You circle. You go in “just to sit.” The salesman knows your name now. You leave with a brochure and a lie: “I’ll be back Monday with my guy.”
Your guy is imaginary. Monday is laundry day.
The Weekly Toll:
* 12–18 hours of scenario scripting.
* 47 tabs open: Porsche configurator, BaT, AutoTrader, dealer inventories, Reddit r/cars, YouTube “POV drive” videos.
* 3 “accidental” dealership visits.
* 1 near-miss eBay sniping a $400 OEM shift knob “for the future build.”
Your turn, Spies.
In the comments:
1. Total weekly dream-surf hours?
2. Best scenario you played out this week? (Bonus: the car you “bought” in your head.)
3. Dumbest lie to justify a test drive? (Ours: “I’m a reviewer for… uh… Auto Spies.”)
We can’t stop. You can’t stop. We’re all just one “Make Offer” button away from bankruptcy or bliss.
Sound off. And if you did pull the trigger on the dream… tell us where to send flowers. Or the repo man.
—Your Agents, currently “scouting” a S63 convertible with 8k miles hoping to get it for $75k if seller is asleep, 300 miles away.
For research. Obviously.